Dear Ariana Grande,

I hope you never come across my blog because I can hardly imagine how it'd make you feel, but on the slim chance that you do, here's my message to you:


i'm not some freak in a basement. im just somebody who found a bunch of timelines regarding you , and i frakensteined them together because i was bored. i have 2 jobs, and many hobbies. i'll be honest and say you've been a source of entertainment for me with your scandels but i'm not like a freaky fan or hater or stalker. i wouldnt want to be in proximity to you and  i would reject any gigs associated with you. i wouldnt show up to your place of employment and i wouldnt try to go out of my way to be around you. im just saying . 


im literally just tryna make some pennies rq cuz imma broke bitch

I just want you to know, that I don't really care what you do with your life, and I'm not actually judging you concretely, because I don't care that much. I'm not God. I am not an all-knowing being, therefore, I couldn't make an accurate judgement, as only God can. I mean. I can observe and make decide what to do for my self, and try to assess your threat levelt to society, and I can gossip for funsies, but I don't really put people on scales of worthiness because that's weird. Everybody is of equal value in the lord's eyes. Everybody is deserving of love. So please don't hurt yourself or others over this gossipy shit.

Lately your content has been having themes of "addressing the critics" and whatnot. You would probably be angry with me for dissecting snippets of your life on my blog. 

For that, I'm sorry for hurting your feelings. 

Will I do it again? Maybe. Honestly, I'm like 1% toxic and kind of thrill seeking. Can I just be honest? I secretly like that you are problematic because it entertains me. 

However, I don't want you to starve yourself. I don't want you to kill yourself. I do not enjoy watching yourself tear yourself apart. I feel guilt for my contribution to your consequence, but at the same time, I forgive myself too because there did feel like there was a societal need to hold you accountable for man-stealing because it happened like, 6 times. Like girl. lol. 

I've been in love with a taken man before, and I chose to break my own heart and walk away, because that felt like the right thing to do. When it comes to stealing the man of another woman who nearly died during childbirth for her man and was going through post-partum, I think you should have broken your own heart and walked away, too. Sure, it's the man who owes loyalty to his relationship, but you need to understand human nature. Sexy women like us are very powerful and have influence over people. We can homewreck perfectly happy homes, but we shouldn't do it. There is an art to seduction. It takes 2 to tango, but if you choose not to tango, there is no tango-ing. You gotta choose not to tango. Or, you can continue to be the spicy menace to society that you are and just say fuck it and strike again, and then deal with the consequences of that, too.

I don't know you lol

Keep being you. I don't care if you're problematic. Just please don't hurt youself.

You probably fucking hate my guts. If you hate me, I'll just hate you back, but I'm trying to be nice to you right now because I feel bad watching you hurt yourself. i used to kind of be a fan a little bit too. i appreciate your art. please don't die anytime soon. i hope that you get better. i dont even care if you strike again, just don't die young. it's okay, ariana.

-anonymous arghandrawr lady

p.s. if any of you other snarkers read this and got some shit to say about me being kind eat my ass i'm a sweetie pie. let me be.